Ok Warning: This is not book related and I will not try to relate it to books. This is me freely venting and if you judge I don’t care.
So there is sorta a legitimate reason why I haven’t been active on the blog this week. On Sunday I went through with my PromPosal. I asked the guy who i took to my school’s formal with in the fall. I got a double picture frame and on one side had a picture of us from the fall dance and on the other side wrote Our Prom Picture?. I gave it to him and he said: “oh thank you for asking, this was so sweet, I can probably go, most definitely” And I was so happy, then life happened:
On Monday night, he texted me saying “Sarah I loved that you asked me but I can’t go” end of discussion. No reason, no excuse, no nothing. I replied back at the time okay, sorry to hear that, thinking he would get the sign to tell me why he couldn’t go, but nothing and I haven’t heard from him since. Now I might be stubborn and stupid but I feel like I deserved a reason why he couldn’t go. For all I know he could have going to the same prom with another girl, BUT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE, but he didn’t tell me anything. And I’m pissed. maybe I’m being stupid, but now I have no date and might not get a date, which makes me sad.
So this all happened Monday night, and the week did not get any better. On Tuesday, still depressed from the night before, I made an idiot of myself in front of my history class to the point where I needed to leave the classroom to calm down. Wednesday was great, I got to work at my job, and got to see some college stuff. Then Thursday, came along.
I had a history test on Thursday, last period. Okay it could have been worse. Honestly the test was fine, but I panicked, and I panicked hard. I have slight dyslexia, and it instantly became worse, and the essay lines I was writing became to slanted and strange looking that it was probably my own little language. And it only became worse. When the bell rang and everyone filed out I turned my test in and my teacher goes how did it go, and I couldn’t speak. Her instant reaction was oh what’s wrong and I broke down to tears, hard tears, and I couldn’t stop it.
The next couple people I ran into gave me hugs and told me it was going to be okay, but I didn’t believe it. The stress that I was under finally snapped. Now I have had panicked attacks before, but never, ever, to this extreme.
I had off from school today, and I went out shopping, and to dinner and it was nice, but I’m still feel quite unstable about the whole thing. Okay maybe I can ask you guys some question…am I being a brat about my prom fail? How do guys deal with stress? And lastly do I sound crazy?